I often found myself wondering if there were others like me, was I an alien from outer space, is there something wrong with me that others criticize? My voice, gestures, and body language revealed a hidden secret that I had tried to keep from my family and friends.
The basic energy of masculine vs. feminine played a major role in my early development of homosexuality. I recognized many of my attributes in other girls rather than the boys and I had a feeling of wanting to be around masculine energy on some level. With that idea in mind I thought am I doing something wrong? Growing up in a Christian environment in the middle of homosexuality sin became a major struggle knowing of man and woman, not Adam and Steve. It was extremely disturbing for me to think my family and friends might not accept my sexual orientation because men aren’t meant for meant. In this situation, I refused to accept my sexuality and continued to act in a heterosexual manner.
While other boys were playing recreational sports I sat aside conversing with girls. My talkative attribute became a sign of homosexuality as how many boys did not talk, yet along to the opposite sex.The biggest factor on my list had become minor as I began to accept my sexuality; although, not everyone was ready to accept my factor. To this day, my father still disapproves my sexuality as being a abomination to our family name. As I began to accept my sexuality, I thought my father would understand. The pain of a fathers disagreement grew heavy on my teenage heart until I began to find acceptance within myself more than a need for being respected as an individual. With my family and friends acceptance I began to not worry about what others thought of me.
Having a voice in the LBGT community means more than being proud of your orientation. It takes a huge sacrifice to become a statistic of the heterosexual world. Be aware that everyone is not modern with homosexuality. Being true to myself and finding acceptance within myself and select people have brought me a long way